Healthy and Often Left Out

I am proud to work in an organization which allows siblings of all ages (as long as they are healthy) to visit their brother or sister in the cardiac intensive care unit. These siblings have many of the same concerns as their parents regarding their brother's or sister's condition and how it will affect them and their entire family such as;  isolation, a need for information, guilt, and concerns about the future. If this weren't bad enough, they also face issues that are uniquely theirs including resentment, peer issues, embarrassment, and pressure to achieve. Even the most family-friendly organizations often overlook the siblings.  They are often left in the literal and figurative waiting rooms and when they are included, it is often to watch the celebrations around the steps to recovery of their brother or sister while their own milestones are achieved on a very lonely road. Here are some ways to help keep a sibling or siblings feeling like they truly are a part of the family.

• Acknowledge their life
• Acknowledge their concerns, let them ask questions of health care providers
• Expect typical sibling behavior despite their brother's or sister's condition (name calling, rivalry, fighting etc)
• Discuss roles and expectations
• Give them opportunities to meet other kids as well as other siblings of kids with the same condition
• Communicate and keep them in the loop (age appropriate)
• Celebrate every child's achievements and milestones
• Find resources and ways to give them a break as well
• If they want, Include them in any special activities that are meant for their brother or sister (camps, fundraisers, etc.), give them a choice, let them NOT participate as well